The High-Conflict Couple
The High-Conflict Couple
A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation
By Alan E. Fruzzetti with foreword by Marsha M. Linehan
You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you’ve tried these without much success, you’re not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you’re part of a “high-conflict” couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.
This book adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you’ll learn how to de-escalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You’ll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.
Page Count: 190
ISBN: 9781635618778 (Hardcover)
Fruzzetti is a leader in work with high-conflict couples and families. This much-awaited book provides an opportunity to learn his techniques and strategies, presented in his unique teaching style that is so effective. The book is a must for every DBT program as well
as all those working within the field.”
—PERRY D. HOFFMAN, PH.D., president of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, New York
This is a long awaited book! Fruzzetti is a master clinician who does rigorous science in order to protide those of us doing treatment and those in need of it something that works. This is hope for all of us working with individuals, couples and families who suffer. Thank you, Alan, for this timely and important 'work.
—Suzanne Witterholt, MD, distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and director of Ananda Services for Dialectical Behavior Therapy in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Minnesota
Fruzzetti is a leader in work with high-conflict couples and families. This much- awaited book provides an opportunity to learn his techniques and strategies, presented in his unique teaching style that is so effective. The book is a must for every DBT program as well as all those working within the field.
—Perry D. Hoffman, Ph.D., president of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, New York
The High Conflict Couple performs a major public service. Fruzzetti’s approach starts with an important principle: that dysregulated emotions are the core difficulty for high-conflict couples. From this he protides step-by-step practical methods designed to enhance acceptance, intimacy, and communication based on the latest research regarding emotion regulation and his own vast experience in working with couples and families. In essence, this is an excellent book, useful for both clinicians and couples regardless of the severity of their difficulties.
—Thomas R. Lynch, Ph.D., associate professor in the Departments of Psychiatry and Psychology and Neuroscience and director of the Cognitive Behavior Research and Treatment Program at Duke University
A warm and professional guide following in the tradition of acceptance and compassion. A book on how to handle love and stay connected even in difficult circumstances. We have waited for it!
—Anna Kâver, psychologist and author with Karolinska Hospital, Stockholm, Sweden